You know you’re getting old when…
The first time you have to ask a friend to wipe your ass for you, that’s when you know you’re getting old. I’m only 32, but a few weeks ago that’s where I was: lying on the floor moaning, almost passed out from pain, needing my roommate to help me wipe my ass before we went to the hospital. Good thing we’re so close.
You can also be pretty sure that surgery’s a good option in your future when you can dislocate your shoulder just by trying to wipe your own ass. Yay for modern surgery!
It’s also a good thing I managed to get my arm back in its socket before we had to do all that.