Embracing Chaos

After 6.5 years of having dreadlocks, I decided I was done.  So while I was at Burningman this year, I had my friends help me cut them off.  I wandered around on Saturday with a pair of scissors, and would ask friends one at a time if they would help me by cutting off one of my dreads.  Some of them went into a bag for future nefarious purposes, and some of them got put into my new dread hat, and others got burned ceremoniously.  In all, 33 people helped cut my hair.  "It takes a village" Mason said.  I did a tiny amount of trimming myself afterwards, but really this is a community haircut.  At some point I’ll need to get a professional to clean it up.  But considering how it was formed, I think it’s not bad.

Now, with a few weeks of introspection and perspective, I can explain my thought process and motivation.  A big part of it was that I was sick of maintaining them.  For a pale guy like me, keeping dreads looking half-way decent is a lot of work — arguably more than I was doing.  I was attracted to the hairstyle initially because of its promise of never having to do anything with your hair again.  That might be true for somebody with thick, curly african hair, but not for me.  I had to go at them with a crochet hook for an hour or two every couple of weeks to keep from looking too fuzzy.

Now that they’re gone, I realize a number of things about them that were really downers: I had a giant lump of matter stuck to my head.  It got in the way when I lay down.  None of my hats really fit anymore.  Helmets have all needed re-adjustment.  I was always pulling it out of my face.  My hair took forever to dry.  All these hassles are gone.  But bigger than that, now people can run their fingers through my hair!  I feel like a purring cat whenever it happens.  I probably have a limit for how long I find that activity enjoyable for, but I haven’t found it yet.

But the most substantial reason was that I knew I was ready for structural changes in my life.  I knew I needed to focus my energy on school rather than my job.  I’d been working at Real Networks for 4.5 years and learned a ton, but doing both has been a killer.  As I squeezed the scissors through that first lock I was thinking to myself, "If I can cut off my dreads, I can make other big changes in my life."  It was an act of empowerment.  I control my destiny.  I actually haven’t exactly quit my job — I’m taking a leave of absence from Real for 6 months while I finish up my MBA at which point I’ll consider all my options.  But I am in control of my time, and time is the most critical resource any of us have.

Next step in taking control of my life: Puppy.  That one’s still pretty scary for me.

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 29th, 2007 at 8:21 PM and is filed under Ego, Personal Growth. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.