Embracing Chaos

Pike or Pine? For those of us who live in Seattle, this is an eternal question. Often rhetorical. The two streets run parallel from downtown through Capitol Hill and nobody can keep them straight. This fact was institutionalized by the local sketch comedy show Almost Live in a game show called “Pike or Pine?” where contestants were asked which of the two streets various landmarks are on. “Where is the Paramount Theater?” “Oh, I go by there every day on my way to work. It’s just before the bus-stop where I get off. It’s … it’s … it’s on Pike!”…

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I was thinking about getting all serious-like and talking about how cultural relativism makes it hard for me to judge the immorality of gangsta rap that glorifies crime. And I’ll still rant just a bit. But really my main motivation is to shout out props to Weird Al for his new song “White & Nerdy”. (For extra entertainment, watch the questionably-legal video at youtube, at least until they take it down.) It’s parodying a song by Chamillionaire that glorifies smuggling drugs. Nice work dude — way to be a positive influence on other people’s lives. This is one of the…

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The forecast today calls for an 80% chance of rain. Traditionally this means that 80% of the time it will rain, but that there’s a 20% chance it won’t rain at all. Here in Seattle we interpret those numbers a little differently. In Seattle, when the forecast says 80% chance of rain that means if you ask a random sampling of 100 people on the street “is it raining right now?” 80 of them will say “yeah, it’s raining” and 20 of them will say “no, this isn’t rain.” For those of you who haven’t ever been in Seattle in…

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The first time you have to ask a friend to wipe your ass for you, that’s when you know you’re getting old. I’m only 32, but a few weeks ago that’s where I was: lying on the floor moaning, almost passed out from pain, needing my roommate to help me wipe my ass before we went to the hospital. Good thing we’re so close. You can also be pretty sure that surgery’s a good option in your future when you can dislocate your shoulder just by trying to wipe your own ass. Yay for modern surgery! It’s also a good…

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